I feel like I need to set the scene. Just like a script where the pages are mapped out and all of the actors know their roles, I know mine. I’m a 30 year old (just hit that milestone), newly single female with a guarded heart, high hopes and fairy tale dreams. The setting is this, it’s January and the bulletin of New Year’s resolutions for 2014 sits in a crisp new journal next to my bed. On the first few pages are goals both big and small. I can only hope to achieve even half over the next year. Like many single, young females, on that list, near the top, states this or something similar, “find true love”. It’s whats expected of us reaching that age of “not a young woman in your 20’s anymore” but rather a woman who should settle down, marry and start a family. I mean who doesn’t want that right?
I should back track a little and explain the “newly single” in my character description. I married, checked it off my list in 2012 and unchecked in it 2013. Back to the drawing board so to speak. I mean this happens everyday, to any age couple and to anyone, or so I’m told. Growing up a woman you envision this fairy tale life of an adoring husband, a house with a picket fence, happy, healthy children and maybe even a dog. At least that’s what I wanted, what I had grown to need. After being in a relationship which turned into an engagement I thought I had found the right kind of love. Maybe at first it was the right kind of love for my growing self. Maybe it was the kind of love that helps write these award winning tales. Yet, maybe once that tale is written that actor can change and is no longer fit for that role. Well that’s what happened. Like a dark storm or a fire breathing dragon it slowly crept into my story and tipped my world upside down. My hopes and dreams of a happy ending unraveled before my eyes and that chapter ended. My relationship lasted seven and a half years, a year and a half of it were spent married. The end.
So here I sit, back at my mother’s house, who along with my family, were able to pick up my unraveled self and put me back together. My heart remains slightly askew and what has been pieced back together, like a jigsaw that doesn’t quite fit, now has a new view on this so called fairy tale and what the next chapter will be. My chapter following the break up began with a solitary blank page and a pen. I knew I had to make it a good one. I mean my story can’t go on forever. I’m only given so many pages to write. A particular quote inspired me to view it this way;
“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” -Brad Paisley
So, as the start of a new year has begun I took it upon myself to start again, finding love, finding me and what it is that truly makes me happy. I’m beginning this process at a new age and with new experiences that I’m able to take with me along the way in filling in my book. My new story will be about the bumpy road to finding true love, what really makes true love so hard to find and most importantly how to pick up and mend the pieces of a torn heart so that real love won’t slip through its cracks. We all have those tiny openings created by our pasts and through my journey I hope to give those cracks of yours reason and meaning to mend. So, just like Carrie Bradshaw from the ever so popular show, Sex and the City, I will write to you with an honest heart and true journey of what it means to finish your fairy tale.