You should always have hope. Yes, it’s really that simple. Just kidding! I fooled you didn’t I? I mean seriously I don’t care how optimistic you are in life there comes a point in time when that hope just flies right out the window. I’ve always thought of myself as a glass half full type of girl but in the world of dating I often feel as if I may be looking at the wrong portion of that glass. Take my most recent escapade for example (yes I am using the word escapade). I went on a date with a guy from the online dating site I am a member of. He contacted me first (I feel like that may matter at some point) and we exchanged messages for a few weeks before taking it to the next step of texting. He stressed right from the get go that he was a busy guy, working two very time consuming jobs. I took it for what it was never considering how busy one could really be or say to be. We planned to meet for dinner that following Friday night, a few days after we had begun texting. He met me much more than halfway (good) and we had a GREAT time right from the start. He was charming, interested in what I had to say, asked questions about my job, family, etc. The conversation never once had a lull. It was as if we had been long time friends just catching up on life. He paid for dinner (good) and walked me to my car (also good). He was very polite and thanked me for joining him and gave me a hug before we parted ways. I was on a cloud (mind you this was prior to me not attaching those expectations I talked about in yesterday’s post) and I couldn’t wait to hear from him. So, that night I received a text when he got home to tell me he had made it safely. We texted briefly and he invited me over to watch football with a few of his friends that Sunday. I was still on a cloud and now never coming down. I couldn’t wait.
Sunday came and I made the trek to his house and spent the afternoon and evening with him and his friends, and their wives/girlfriends, watching football. After they all had left he and I spent the rest of the evening eating pizza, talking and really enjoying each other’s company. The night eventually came to an end and I made the trek back home, not first without a good night kiss (yay!). I was officially in the second date success zone. I knew for sure there would be a third.
I was right, obviously! Of course, not without over a week of not hearing from him first. When I finally heard from him he told me how busy he was with work and traveling and what not but he really wanted to get together again so I agreed. I mean why wouldn’t I? I was still stuck on that damn cloud. The next Friday (two weeks shy of date one and two) we met for dinner. I got stuck in traffic so I was late (oops). When I finally made it to the restaurant he greeted me with a big smile and a hug. Immediately we chatted about our weeks and never stopped talking for a minute. The waitress even had to come over four times before we were ready to order. He apologized and stressed again how busy he had been and would be for the rest of January but would have some more freedom the following month (whatever that meant). He then proceeded to tell me he had worked an overnight at the hospital and hadn’t slept in over twenty four hours! I couldn’t believe he hadn’t cancelled our date. He mentioned he was eager to see me though so that’s why he didn’t tell me. So, after dinner I wasn’t at all (okay maybe a little) bummed we had to end the night early so he could get some sleep. He walked me to my car and hugged me (a long one) and kissed me (twice) before saying he would contact me over the weekend to make plans again. There I stood in the freezing cold parking lot not even caring because I had once again dominated the date (number three!) and there would be a fourth. I drove home that night feeling like a million bucks.
Well here we are, bringing you up to speed, almost a week since the last date and I haven’t heard anything from him except for a quick “hi” text on Saturday morning. I caved and casually texted him on Wednesday with no response. So, this is where I ask the questions. At what point do you trade in that hope and move on? At what point do you say this isn’t really worth my effort to make something work with someone this “busy”? Do you ever give up that hope or just simply tuck it away for later use if he contacts you? Without adding in those expectations, where do you draw the line that three successful dates and little to no contact in between means nothing? Maybe you don’t. Maybe you don’t lose hope at all and you just distribute that hope in other places. Maybe you direct that hope not so much at this situation playing out the way you want but to another that will soon follow and take its place. Yes, lets do that. Lets shut that window before our hope flies away and grab onto it tightly knowing that hope is what will get you through. It’s what will keep you pushing forward when three dates means nothing. It will push you through when you feel like no guy will be worth the effort. Hope is what will keep you moving on to find the one that will grasp that same hope just as tightly as you.