Well here I sit, waiting. Waiting being the operative word lately. It’s a game…let us call it ‘the waiting game’ (how original, I know!). When you embark on this dating adventure waiting becomes a huge part of it all. We wait for the initial contact, whether it be a message through an online dating site or to be set up through a friend, we wait for the day the first meeting arrives, we wait during the date for that feeling of a connection, we wait for that text or call after the date (assuming you want that to happen) and we wait and wait hoping for a second date. It doesn’t even end there, oh no, you continue to wait for date number three and so on until that time comes when you can officially consider yourself to be off the market, if it even gets that far. Why do we as women put such strain on the situation and WAIT? Why do we become obsessed with waiting to hear from the other? To tell you the truth, it’s our own fault. Truly. We, as women, are thinkers, we dissect everything from the moment that date is initialized all the way until you part ways at the end of date one. Sadly, we will continue to dissect the opposite sex and their actions forever after that. This dissection process is similar to that of that frog in biology class (gross, I know) but it’s a perfect example of what we do. We meticuously slice open and examine each and every tiny piece of the puzzle so that we can create one solid answer to it all. Does he like me? Will he call? What was he thinking? And so on. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that answer won’t be found inside your science project. That answer is found in ourselves.
Let’s stop for a minute and think back on your last good date. It was one of those nights you just never wanted to end. You spent hours prior fixing your hair perfectly, applying just the right amount of makeup to look great without looking overdone, not to mention the entire week you spent trying to find the prefect outfit. So there you are, looking fabulous and having a great time over dinner. You probably even ordered something you normally wouldn’t have just so you wouldn’t look like one of THOSE girls that orders a salad and a water. The entire evening the conversation flowed from one great topic to the next with no awkward pauses in between. “Could it really be this perfect?” you wonder. Once the date comes to an end and he gives you a hug good night and sneaks in a awkward quick kiss on the cheek that’s when you immediately fall into the trap. What trap, you ask? I’ll tell you. It’s called expectations. We all do it every single time. Once this fabulous date has come to a close we set these expectations of how things are meant to be. When they don’t manifest the way we expect we immediately think they had a bad time, they didn’t feel that connection like you did, you said or did something wrong, and the list of doubt goes on. Well, ladies, once again bursting your bubble, generally speaking that is not the case. We all know men don’t think like we do but we also need to set that frog aside and leave him whole for a change. Once we can set aside these expectations we can let things fall into place how they will whether we worry or not. This waiting game won’t seem nearly as daunting and you’ll be able to eat and sleep in the meantime without a brain of mush. I promise.
So, let’s construct a few guidelines to tuck away in our back pockets the next time we primp and prep for that date;
1. Know that you brought with you the best you. Never doubt yourself on a first date. Be you and no one else. If you want a second date show off the real you the first time around, heck even order that salad if you want it.
2. Know that once the date is over whether he calls (or doesn’t) the situation is ALWAYS in YOUR hands. You have a choice. If he’s worth that second date it will happen. If he isn’t, there really is a better fish swimming around out there for you.
3. Don’t bring the frog on the date with you. Go have fun because that’s really what it is all about!